Sunday, December 10, 2017

The way we are.

As i sit down and think about my life i c the world has not changed in any way. We only care about money social standard and things we can not control, all try to make the day's end by clarifying them by making em self better than others, we are all searching to find they way we all want, no one is looking to listen, hear what is others pain, gain or even success is. as i look into myself and try to discover what i am and put all the links together, i can only c one way to live, is to think about myself and nobody else.

Friday, April 22, 2016


          Day after Day

Still going strong, as most humans, we crave, have urges in some way or another. But in a complete social trap if we can call it that you can control everything, set up various sounds so it emulate the tone or idea you have, hard to explain but that way you think you never have a thought by you self.

Will end up making you complete numb in the end, catatonic if you can go that far. Making you mistakes look a hell lot worse than they seem, or success much larger.

Example If someone way to say donkey and you look up, say the word again and then you know that was a trigger. Save that word and you can say it again and again. Think im gonna buy some good head silencer, so I can get some good rest and relaxation, guess music bands have em on might be for more than one reason.

Maybe writing everything down each day if a good way of keeping the mind strong and having a place to go back and read what happened, as a buffer, a kinda diary if you can call it that. Might be a good idea to find a hobby of some kind, just got no clue what that should be ATM.

Looking trough the news and social updates, looks like the world is still going around, clocks is ticking like it always had, and most forget what happened last night or for that matter last hour, going faster and faster, what was in trendy last night is a cliche today.

A clever man one said to me, have an argument for what you are thinking or saying or you might as well shut up, there will always been a new day, but might not be the same moment, so so live in the now, instead of surviving just for the next day.

Most will say why don't you live by you own rules, think about that for a moment. If we all just did what the mind says without any hesitations, no second thought that would be chaos unlimited.

Question now Is when nothing is random how can you be impulsive ?. Every step, idea, food, well everything is planned, making you own little matrix where you can get a little crazy if you don't have a few way points to keep you mind @ bay.

Seems like going along for the ride is the best thing ATM, just idling for the circus one big reality show or something, feels like living in a movie that has been going on for way to long, again narrowing it down as much as you can, worlds 1 ´ 5 ´ 6´ and so on, the more you can simplify it down the more you can control a human, like if you want a banana say it's a bad fruit and so on, as i say complete idiotic way of controlling a situation, guess it works on some.

And yea I know ;)  

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Social engineering.


There is such a thing as knowing to much learned that the hard way, having the eye can be fun but also the worst you could possible get, think i've always had it. Found out when i was 30 years old, we all have our stuff to drag along as we go along this bouncy castle of life. up and down as some might know. Know for a fact that there is a war going on right now that few will or can talk about. Tried to explain but seems to get lost in the echo of all the noise going on. 

People changing there ideas and personality as the light goes from em. ive always been a rational person that looks from the logic point of view, but these days don't know, but one thing for sure that everything i eat, smoke drink watch is edited, trying to erase memory.

 Setting me up as a scapegoat was lets say unsuccessful, though still on medication only a small amount, pretty good from what i've been trough. A racor sharp screaming noise is going on as i write this. pretty sure more are also getting it. As far as i know the weather is weird, been for some time now, I was as must know i think in a rotten place, now it feels like more than one party is trying to get me to fall, music is edited video and so on. As i say total social engineering. 

Trying to figure out the plan of it all, just know that after i spend  months in solitude, things changed a lot, As my father says they are all hores in this, i did not cooperate with anyone or anything, just really wanted to be alone, but seems like that is no option anymore. Seems like just giving a rat about what is going on would be selfish.

Seen a lot in my life so far but this time seems to hit the record, most humans i encounter seems to have an alternative motive, then somehow i pull the light from em and they just sit and stare out in the air like the lost all sense of where they where going know i lost my boat somewhere along the way, an a nice nurse saying i would not lose anything but move to where i am now.

The flickinger from the street light is well how to put it annoying, and also the constant screaming in my ears, goes away with some music, but when that is altered also it's pretty clear to figure out whats going on. Trying to get one to fire up or slow down as also the instruments and colors.

More to come if i'm still here